Into The Night
by Digimage
Summary: Part 1 of 3: When Spain cleans out an old room in his house, old feelings come to the surface. Will he be left to drown in memories?


Into The Night

If Romano found out what he was doing he would probably threaten to kill Spain for doing this without him but he hadn't wanted to put this off and bother Romano by calling him here. Spain knew why he hated cleaning out this room in particular; it was because of the memories and emotions that could be recalled so easily at the simple sight of anything in the room, or rather the lack of emotions recalled.

The Imperial Fog or Empire's lust, that was what nations called it. It was a need for more land, more money, more control, a need that could drive a nation temporarily insane, and it too often did. Memories could become sketchy or unable to be recalled at all, emotions were repressed, and personalities changed as the need clawed at their minds. When looking back some could pin point the exact moment when the need truly kicked in while others said it seemed to slowly sneak up on them and they were already lost by the time they could recognize it. They weren't quite sure what brought it on but it was believed that certain standards had to be met within a nation before a nation succumbed to it. They also weren't sure why some experienced it differently than others. Austria had had a small one that lasted for a long time, Italy had had a brush with it during the world wars and it would have been worse if not for his financial situation, America's started as a protective streak that had built up into his Manifest Destiny. Spain and England's had been extremely violent though they both recalled most of their time "under", Spain more so than England. England said most of the mid 1700s were foggy and the first thing he could recall was when America rebelled. Spain in particular had an odd case, he had had periodic "breaks" during his time, the need had been less pronounced as had his bloodlust and only his emotions were still "partly off" as he said, the odd part was that it only happened when he was in Europe and never when he was in someone else's land as many of his opponents attested.

It would be years later after his empire collapsed, his charges all gone, grown and independent, when he finally got over most of the guilt and horror that had drowned him when he realized what he had done that he figured out why the breaks happened. It had taken so long to find the simple solution, his feelings of shame and remorse had clouded his mind from it for years before he knew that it had stunned him before he quickly accepted it as fact. It had been Romano. It had been Romano's presence by his side that had let him have those breaks. It seemed even more reasonable when he recalled the madness he had fallen into when Romano had been taken from him after the War for Spanish Succession and his return to sanity with his repossession of Romano after the War of Polish Succession. After he had gotten over his shock at the realization he found he wasn't really surprised. Romano had come to mean the world to him after their first few years together.

Spain was snapped out of his musing when his hand touched familiar soft cloth with course stitching. He paused for a moment before pilling it out of the box he was routing through. Red was the first thing saw before the bright gold caught his attention, frayed from age. He took a moment to just stare at the coat before painful nostalgia set in. He held back a flinch at the color, bright red like his flag and his tomatoes, memories of it being much darker it had been, stained with blood that had taken ages to wash out, flitted through his mind. He shook his head as he packed it away again but as he moved on a sad air came about him, memories threatening to choke him. This happened every time he thought, why hadn't he called Romano to help him again?

…Oh, that was right, Romano had a lot of work that had to be done soon or his boss would have his head. It wouldn't have been so bad on its own but Veneziano had thrust his share of the work onto his brother so he could visit Germany, Romano had not been happy.

Spain once again shook himself from his thoughts and set back to work but it was no use. The memories were starting to come back. They pushed at him threatening to swallow him whole, drown him in remembered horrors that would have him waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat for days to come. Anxiety started to claw at him as he worked through more boxes, telling him to leave, run out the door and grab the phone and call his lover work be damned. He persisted however and kept cleaning, objects bringing forth more and more memories that pushed at his mind. Years ago he had accepted that some of things he did couldn't be avoided, that some things were part of being a nation, other things he would never be able to forgive himself for, and still others faded with time and just became part of him. It was only this that saved him from having the full bulk of his empire days crashing upon him.

Just as he thought he would break, either from the memories finally sweeping him away or fleeing the room to get away and drink until he forgot, his phone rang, the ringtone loud and piercing.

_~Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell~_

_~It was love from above that could save me from hell~_

_~She had fire in her soul it was easy to see~_

_~How the devil himself could be pulled out of me…~_

It startled him out of his thoughts, the memories shrinking back, the distant screams and shouts and booms fading into the corners of his mind. It took a moment to clearly hear it and another to place who it belonged to before a great smile stretched across his face, darkened eyes lighting up, and the last of the memories disappearing, beaten back by this unseen force.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket; tomato charm swinging slightly, Prussia had bought it for him for his birthday two years ago. He flipped it open and pressed it to his ear "Lovi~!" he said his voice absent of the creeping despair that had been around him not a moment ago.

"Oi! Tomato bastard, listen up I'm coming over so you better have dinner ready by the time I get there!" His Italian lovers' voice trickled into his ear loosening tense muscles and easing the tight feeling that had seized his gut, the last remnants of the memories hold on him being wiped out in an instant.

"Que?" he said standing turning from the room to head for the kitchen "I thought you had work you had to get done for your boss or you'd get in trouble?" He turned for a moment to look back in the room before closing it behind him and resuming his journey. He would be back; he still had to finish cleaning but this time he wouldn't be alone to get lost in his memories.

"Fuck that! I got all my work done early let Veneziano get in trouble for trying to shirk his work off on me. Maybe it'll finally teach him not to go gallivanting off to the potato bastard all the time." Romano grumbled "What the hell have you been doing all day anyway bastard, sleeping?"

He took a moment before answering, voice slightly somber "It was nothing, mi carino, just remembering."

There was a pause on the other end before Romano spoke, no before Lovino spoke, softer with just the slightest hint of worry shining through "An-Antonio…are you alright?"

Spain, no, Antonio gave a small laugh "I'm fine mi tomate~. It's cute that you're worried about me~. Oh right! Was there anything special you wanted for dinner since it's been so long since you came to visit?"

"Bastard, I'm not a tomato and I'm not cute." Lovino snapped back, his voice back to normal. "No I don't want anything special as long as it isn't paella and it hasn't been that long, I saw you last month and that was for a week _and_ we talk every day!"

Antonio passed through the living room looking out the large windows for a moment; it was almost evening, the low hanging sun casting everything in an orange light. He smiled as he thought of the night with his lover ahead of him. "Oh but Lovi, that isn't the same as seeing you every day." It wasn't, nothing could compare to having his lover with him, sleeping at his side, sitting on the patio next to him drinking wine, picking tomatoes together. No, talking through a phone wasn't enough, would never be enough. It didn't feel right until he was next to him, wrapped in his arms. He needed him, wanted him, it was more maddening then the Empire's Lust had ever been.

"Stai zitte! Just have dinner ready when I get home. Be grateful I even decided to drive here instead of going to my house and sleeping for the next week with how tired I am." He said before hanging up, probably trying to quell the fierce blush that had appeared on his cheeks.

Antonio pouted for a moment; he was missing out on seeing his Lovi's cheeks go tomato red before cheering up when he remembered that he would be here soon. He stopped at the kitchen door turning around and trekking back into the living room a new thought striking him. He went over to the stereo system that America had given him awhile back. He bent down to survey the multitude of CDs as a nefarious plan formed in his brain. His smile grew larger as he pulled a few choice CDs from the shelf. He knew what he and Lovi would do tonight, at least, if his lover wasn't really that tired. As he began to set everything up he began humming the tune to Lovi's ringtone. He remembered the lyrics and gave a loving smile as he realized how true they were. When he was done he turned back to the kitchen to start dinner still humming, the song triumphing against any dark thoughts that tried to sneak back into his mind, leaving nothing but thoughts of dancing with his lover tonight behind.

_~Like a piece to the puzzle that falls into place~_

_~You could tell how we felt from the look on our faces~_

_~We spinning in circles with the moon in our eyes~_

_~No room left to move inbetween you and I~_

_~We forgot where we were and we lost track of time~  
~And we sang to the wind as we danced through the night~_


End file.
